Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas (2014; Darren Doane) – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 55
“It’s not putting the Christ back in Christmas, it’s putting the ka-ching back in Christmas.”
Just in time to save your Christmas, faith-based hip-hop dance crew members Daniel Barnes and Corky McDonnell celebrate Bible-sanctioned materialism with the smirking evangelicals of Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas. The film wants to honor “the reason for the season,” but the real miracle is that this chintzy home movie ever made it into theaters.
From the ska-punk version of “Silent Night” that plays over the opening credits to the 10-minute end credits sequence filled with bloopers and beatboxing, this is a 79-minute film that feels like it will never end. This condescending and monomaniacal movie wants to safeguard Christmas for the children, while also convincing those children to reimagine Christmas trees as bloody crucifixes. According to Cameron, mere ambivalence about the commercialization of the holidays is “a slap in the face to the true meaning of Christmas.” That’s his level of crazy.
Elsewhere, Daniel and Corky discuss hot cocoa fetishes, prideful trees and the mysterious disappearance of Baby Jesus.
The Cat (Doug Glassman)
SAVING CHRISTMAS FACTS AND FIGURES
U.S. theatrical release date: Nov. 14, 2014
Domestic box office gross: $2.8 million (production budget: $500,000)
Critic scores: 0 on Rotten Tomatoes; 18 on Metacritic
This week’s darer: Gav from the Films on Trial podcast
Why did Gav dare Daniel and Corky to watch Saving Christmas? “Hi, guys! Listening to you heathens hilariously bash that Bible-bashing classic God’s Not Dead, I thought that you may want to review a real test of willpower, in the form of the cinematic turd that is Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas. I stumbled upon it last year, and I still haven’t fully recovered. I guarantee that if you watch it in December, it will ruin your Christmas. Apologies a thousand times. I hope we can still be friends after this?”
IMDB synopsis: “His annual Christmas party faltering thanks to his cynical brother-in-law, former Growing Pains star Kirk Cameron attempts to save the day by showing him that Jesus Christ remains a crucial component of the over-commercialized holiday.”
This week’s referenced movies: Dark City; Gods of Egypt; I, Robot; Left Behind (2014); The Legend of Hercules; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014); Transformers: Age of Extinction; the Saw movies; Loose Change; Lord of the Rings movies; The Jerk; It’s a Wonderful Life; A Christmas Carol; Coming to America; Breakin’; National Lampoon’s Animal House; Zero Dark Thirty; Hollywood Shuffle; Ultraviolet; The Warrior and the Sorceress
Ratings for Saving Christmas: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare