Transylmania (2009; David and Scott Hillenbrand) – Scare Daniel Podcast Episode 23
“Vampire orgy, here I come!”
In the latest installment of Scare Daniel, Codex Eroticon scholars Daniel Barnes and Corky McDonnell put on their most valuable blue jeans to review David and Scott Hillenbrand’s witless and scare-less horror comedy Transylmania.
Daniel and Corky shelve their slob vs. snob rivalry long enough to agree on the loathsomeness of Transylmania, a rancidly unfunny yet pointlessly complex comedy with Ed Gein-level humor, rampant misogyny and homophobia, and a cast of 34-year-old college kids.
The unofficial third film in the Dorm Daze franchise, Transylmania was the lowest-grossing film ever released on over 1,000 movie screens, and despite the 94-minute running time, it feels like it takes an entire semester abroad to complete.
Your hosts hold in their bodily fluids in long enough to discuss farting horses, using werewolf songs in a vampire movie and how to get your hunchback daughter laid, while also marveling at a world where head-reattachment surgery has become an outpatient procedure.
TRANSYLMANIA FACTS AND FIGURES
U.S. theatrical release date: December 4, 2009
Worldwide box office gross: $397,641
Critics scores: 0 on Rotten Tomatoes; 8 on Metacritic (User score of 87 on Metacritic)
This week’s craft beer: Fieldwork Brewing’s Disco Stu Likes Disco Mosaic DIPA (9.0% ABV)
This week’s Darer: Dan Scott
Why did Dan dare Daniel and Corky to watch Transylmania? He alerted us to THIS BLOG POST from Business Insider listing the films with the greatest discrepancies between Critics scores and Users scores on Metacritic–Transylmania was #1 on the list.
IMDB synopsis: “Spoof horror in which a group of college kids do a semester abroad in Romania and realize that if the partying doesn’t kill them, the vampires just might!”
This week’s referenced movies: Dorm Daze; Dorm Daze 2; Nell; The End of Summer; The People Under the Stairs; C.H.U.D.; I Am Legend; Ready to Rumble; Bram Stoker’s Dracula; To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar; Crash; Dunkirk
Ratings for Transylmania: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare