“Looks like you’ve become the badass I once hoped to be.”
It’s treason season on the Dare Daniel podcast, as hosts Daniel Barnes and Corky McDonnell review the Chinese state-sponsored propaganda of Tan Bing’s China Salesman, co-starring Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal. A wildly inept attempt to make an action film about unfair bidding practices in global telecommunications contracts, China Salesman concerns a plot by the West to defeat the East by fomenting civil war between the North and the South. The film offers the sort of clear artistic vision that can only be provided by 16 media companies, 9 producers, 7 co-producers, 10 general executive producers, 5 executive producers, 9 associate producers, 6 co-producers, 9 co-executive producers, 10 co-associate producers, 1 line producer and 4 distributors, yet the film still somehow ends up as an apologia for female circumcision. Despite never appearing in the studio at the same time, Daniel and Corky discuss phantom fight scenes, sniper glamour shots, inexplicable ninja attacks, telltale cufflinks and the Pulitzer-worthy work of French reporter Andy Nelson.
Chinese theatrical release date: June 16, 2017
Chinese box office: $1.5 million (budget – $20 million)
Critic scores: 13 on Rotten Tomatoes; 14 on Metacritic
This week’s craft beer: Maui Brewing Company’s Coconut Hiwa Porter (6% ABV)
This week’s Darer: Matthew Dougherty
Why did Matthew dare Daniel and Corky to watch China Salesman? “Scrolling through the “upcoming” tab in the Redbox app and this gem of a movie pops up…Mike Tyson and Steven Segal in an action movie set in North Africa go up against a young IT engineer? Sign me up.”
Unabridged IMDB synopsis: “Yan Jian, a young Chinese IT engineer who volunteers to go to North Africa and help the company he works for to win a competition. The winner can own the right to control the communication between south and north. French spy Michael works for the West. His boss ordered him to go to the North Africa and win the competition, and they can control the great mineral resources of Africa. He hired the best mercenary in Africa whose name is Lauder and a former general Kabbah to help him. Yan has discovered their conspiracy, he is the only one who can stop them.”
This week’s referenced movies: Alien: Covenant; The Mummy; Wonder Woman; Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales; Exposed; Casablanca; His Girl Friday; The Shawshank Redemption; Patton; Aloha; Revolution; The Snowman; Magic Mike; Titanic
Ratings for China Salesman: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare
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