“Love Actually” Podcast Movie Review

By Daniel Barnes on December 10, 2019

Love Actually (2003; Richard Curtis) – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 54

“She wants the PM to slide into her DMs!”

In this week’s episode, Daniel, Corky and a special guest kick off the Christmas season with some “solid gold shit.” These days, the war on Christmas is actually fought over Love Actually, a rancid rom-com that became a beloved holiday tradition. Naturally, the Dare Daniel Podcast is ready to take up arms. Real-life British person Gav from Films on Trials lends his expert opinion to this episode, recorded live from the dodgy end of Wandsworth.

Love Actually may have its defenders, but our wasted hearts will always hate this horrible movie. The film exhibits a real soft spot for sexual predators, while also promoting the notion that Christmas is the perfect time to publicly dump your love on the near-stranger you’re tenderly stalking. Writer-director Richard Curtis sets the treacle bar in the opening minutes with a casual 9/11 reference. However, that bit of emotional blackmail barely plumbs the depths of Curtis’ horndog shamelessness.

Elsewhere, Daniel, Corky and Gavin discuss wedding flash mobs, turtleneck sweater budgets and “wee motherless mongrels.”

NEW DARES

Mr. Brooks (Mike Dub)

Hercules in New York (Michael Bagamery)

LOVE ACTUALLY FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. theatrical release date: Nov. 7, 2003

Domestic box office: $59.7 million (production budget: $40-45 million)

Critic scores: 64 on Rotten Tomatoes; 55 on Metacritic

This week’s craft beer: Almanac Beer Company‘s Love Hazy IPA (6.1% ABV)

This week’s darer: Heather Smith

Why did Heather dare Daniel and Corky to watch Love Actually? “It’s that magical time of year when every person checks into Facebook to share they are watching Love Actually. A true turd-fest full if cringe-y dialogue, vapid, horrible characters, and one of the more embarrassing dance scenes I can recall. It bewilders me that this movie has sustained such love through the years. It’s like Lifetime wrote a Christmas movie, but could afford better actors. Merry Christmas!”

IMDB synopsis: “Follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London, England.”

This week’s referenced movies: Bula Quo!; God’s Not Dead; Renaissance Man; Battlefield: Earth; Stay Hungry; Pumping Iron; Four Weddings and a Funeral; Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers; Pulp Fiction; An American Werewolf in Paris; The Music Man; Heaven’s Gate; the Bridget Jones movies; Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978); The Long Good Friday; Die Hard; The Princess Bride; Rear Window; Driller Killer; Titanic (1997); Ghostbusters (1984); Say Anything; Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life; Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; Bugsy Malone; The Quiet Man