On this explosive episode of the Dare Daniel podcast, scurvy dogs Daniel Barnes and Corky McDonnell hang Renny Harlin’s inept 1995 action movie Cutthroat Island from the critical yardarm. A notorious box office bomb that’s even worse than you could imagine, Cutthroat Island is a chaotic jumble of bad action, juvenile comedy and chilly romance, all wrapped in a cheesecloth of limp, lifeless pirate cliches. Set in a universe where time, space and logic do not exist, the film stars Geena Davis as lady pirate/father-scalper Morgan Adams, while personality void Matthew Modine plays a con man posing as himself. Daniel and Corky stop playing with their mini-muskets long enough to discuss Oliver Reed impersonators, King Charles the comedy monkey, surgery as sexual flirtation and Paul Verhoeven classics gained and lost.
U.S. theatrical release date: December 22, 1995
Critic scores: 38 on Rotten Tomatoes; 37 on Metacritic
Box office performance: $10 million gross; $120 million budget
This week’s craft beer: Bike Dog Brewing‘s Downhill Double IPA (8.6% ABV)
This week’s Darer: Marco Cabodi
Why did Marco dare Daniel and Corky to watch Cutthroat Island? “For more than a decade it was the biggest bomb of all time. It has a notorious reputation and was hated by critics (‘cept Ebert liked it). Frank Langella and the soundtrack are rad.”
IMDB synopsis: “A female pirate and her companion race against their rivals to find a hidden island that contains a fabulous treasure.”
This week’s referenced movies: Showgirls; Starship Troopers; Titanic; the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise; xXx; Airplane!; Gladiator; Tommy; Exposed; Fifty Shades of Grey; The Silence of the Lambs; I’m Gonna Git You Sucka; King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Ratings for Cutthroat Island: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare
Related clips and clippings:
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